SessKag Series: Control, Part 188

This entry is part 188 of 227 in the series Control [Complete]

“Don’t be a fool,” Sesshoumaru said, his eyes bleeding red. “This is the last chance I will give you: abandon this madness.”

The dark winds of his spiritual energy churned in a maelstrom, stripping all warmth from the air and eroding the room around them. The fine walls and ceiling cracked and crumbled into a chalky waste. The floors fractured along blazing faults, as every surrounding surface dissolved into dust. Teeming with his ire, Sesshoumaru’s fur bristled, raining miasmic sparks, his silver hair lashing like whipcords around him. Against the roiling flames of Kagome’s projected reiki, his aura broke like a black, roaring tide.

“If I’m a fool that makes two of us,” she said with a gruesome half-smile, shoving her blown hair from her mouth. “The Sesshoumaru I loved—he never existed. He isn’t you. Whatever you are, I loathe to the depths of my soul.”

Hatred and regret—this was all she could feel now. Her heart was a shriveled, blackened thing, like that blasted little tree. A thing best left forgotten.

A thing she would pulverize out of existence if she could.

But to live in anguish was her penance, to Mayuri and Kanako and all the rest. She understood this now. And she would make him understand it, too.

“You cannot mean it,” the demon lord said, a fierce and terrible grimace contorting his features, but Kagome’s expression was hard as stone.

“Tell me, Sesshoumaru, do you love only me?”

His eyes were two shards of bright, bloodied ice. “…Yes, only you.” As though he could feel the knife of her cruel intent already twisting into him, he grit out anyway, “I have only ever loved you.”

Kagome’s eyes flared a little at this. A remnant of dreamlike memory flashed in her mind. Once, in her despair, she had asked him if he had ever been in love before, and he had refused to answer. This evasion had irritated her. And so angrily, she had pressed him—who was she? What happened to her? And he had said only, at last—

“She died.”

The hand near her mouth, she curled into her cheek and chin, until her nails broke the skin. Her halted breathing quickened abruptly. Was she misremembering again? Behind her eyes she saw more flashes—disjointed and sharp. Glaring slices of half-formed images that were more visceral than anything.

And in her mouth was the iron taste of blood.

Kagome’s fingers curled to a fist as they fell away. Swallowing, she banished the taste, dispelled the illusion.

Now, or back then—which one was the truth?

Shaking her head, Kagome decided it didn’t fucking matter. He would say or do anything—anything at all to get his way. He was depraved.

“No other will do for me,” he said, the pressure of his aura intensifying as he moved toward her. “None but you.”

Kagome’s eyes closed briefly. When she opened them again, they were cold as the grave.

“Be alone, then,” she said, twisting the knife into herself as well. “Be alone for the rest of your miserable days. So long as I draw breath, I won’t give myself over to you.”

For a heartbeat longer, Sesshoumaru’s searing gaze held hers. The look in his eyes was so vicious, so furious, Kagome thought for a second he might charge at her anyway. Then, as though a slash had been torn through the charged air between them, his youki whipped past her in a dark, dizzying rush, and she was left standing alone in the rubble.


Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi

Series Navigation<< SessKag Series: Control, Part 187SessKag Series: Control, Part 189 >>

12 thoughts on “SessKag Series: Control, Part 188

  1. I love these two idiots. I seriously laughed when Sesshoumaru said it was her last chance though. The poor boy is too smitten to walk away forever though it would serve Kagome right if he did. She really needs to get off her high horse. She just destroyed Edo rather than let another rule it. Her hands aren’t exactly clean either.

    1. “Her hands aren’t exactly clean either.” – Nope, not by a long shot… D:

      So glad you enjoyed their interactions in this scene 🙂 Thanks for sharing!! <3

  2. Whelp, now you’re stranded, Mood Swings Magee lol.
    She knew (what she thinks she knows) about his sins twenty seconds ago when she was begging him to pipe her out, but telling her he loves her is a deal-breaker??
    Maybe she should let him take the reins for a while, cuz she’s not exactly killing it lately 🤣

    Will she encounter Hirokin next then? She’s running herself out of confidants. With her memories finally seeping through, I wonder if Sess will order him to tell her, or if he’ll do it on his own. Or will some alone time let her figure it out herself?
    I think Sess’s best option is to finally clear the air, but she doesn’t believe anything she doesn’t want to anyway. Still, I suspect his secrets would be better just revealed, rather than letting her imagine the absolute worst about him. What’s he got to lose at this point?

    1. “Maybe she should let him take the reins for a while, cuz she’s not exactly killing it lately” – Haha fair enough!

      “What’s he got to lose at this point?” – a valid question 🙂

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, susie!! <3

  3. 1 step forward, 50,000 steps back again. I genuinely don’t know where this story could go from here or what to make of it all. Yes, Kagome is self destructive and her own worst enemy, but everything that should have made an impact or a change seems to slide right off. Sesshoumaru’s profession of love (which she once secretly longed and hoped for) just makes her furious. Her real memories returning to her just make her more determined that the future is unchangeable. What’s left?

    Her determination that the only way to make up for her actions is to suffer for the rest of her life reminds me of Inuyasha. (But I think he expressed it a lot more reasonably.) Does that make Sesshoumaru Kagome in this scenario? Kagome secretly loves and longs for him but she pushes him away because she knows they can never be together? Kagome has arranged her own misery so carefully, it is hard to imagine her escaping it. She is sick in her mind, sick in her heart, and in her soul. Perhaps she does deserve to die. It may be the only thing that would give her peace. How terribly sad.

    Please tell me there is a change or a revelation coming! I don’t think I can take much more of this cycle 😭

    1. I’m sorry, Alex! 😭 It was a brutal scene to write for sure…

      “Kagome has arranged her own misery so carefully, it is hard to imagine her escaping it.” – well said 😢

      We still have a little ways to go <3 Thanks as always for sharing your take!! 💗

Comments are closed.