That evening, as Sesshoumaru made his way alone and undetected to Kagome’s chambers, he sensed two familiar presences conversing lowly from within.

“…Please, Inuyasha-sama, will you not speak with your brother once more? The mating bond is everlasting—it cannot be undone.”

“I know that, and I’ve told you already, Hikari, this is it. So stop trying to get me to talk him out of it.”

“Perhaps,” she ventured hesitantly, “if we were to awaken Kagome-sama, if we were only to ask her—”

Inuyasha’s exasperated growl cut her off. “No matter how badly she wanted to be healed, even if she knew this was the only way, Kagome would never go along with it—I know her. That’s why we ain’t askin’.”

“But, my lord,” Hikari continued to protest, “is that not reason enough to abandon this course? If she would never wish to mate with Sesshoumaru-sama—”

Jaw clenched, Sesshoumaru slid back the painted screen, the demoness quailing at the sight of him. As Inuyasha glanced toward him, Hikari lowered her gaze to the floor—in deference or disapproval, the demon lord could not say. Murmuring a pardon so faint even he could scarcely hear it, she slipped past him, out into the hall.

The castle was silent and empty, the rest of the guards and servants having been dismissed for the night. All would know soon enough what had transpired here, without gossiping eyes and ears around to embellish it. That the act would be trying enough to carry out even in the absence of an audience of gawkers, Sesshoumaru did not doubt. It was a certainty which hardened his expression all the more as he fixed his eyes coolly upon his loitering half-brother.

“Do you wish to observe me, Inuyasha? If not, then leave.”

The hanyou bristled, a muttered curse falling from his lips. With one last parting glower, he exited the room, the screen door slamming shut at his departure. There was a terrible finality in the sound, Sesshoumaru reflected. Frowning, he stepped closer to Kagome.

She appeared much the same as always, her dark glossy hair splayed softly around her ruined, sleeping features. Yet from the glimpse of her bare shoulders above the bedsheet, he understood at once that she had been left naked beneath it. As for the small gilt jar placed next to the futon, Sesshoumaru could infer its purpose readily enough. Far from arousing, the knowledge filled him with dread and remorse.

As he looked at her, he sincerely questioned whether he could muster the gall—or, in this case, the sheer callousness—to proceed with the act.

Closing his eyes, he attempted to divorce himself from the circumstances, to bring his body and mind into focus as he knelt down beside her. Still, this was not a battle—this was a mating. And despite his mental fortitude, his centuries of training and experience, he could not bring his hand forward to prepare himself, let alone touch Kagome with such base intent.

Bitter and defeated, the demon lord swiftly stood. Not even as a toddling pup could he remember losing his nerve so completely. As he strode from her bedside, this was no tactical retreat, no calculated capitulation—this was an ignoble and blatant flight. Yet storming out into the courtyard, Sesshoumaru conceded that to have remained with her would not have been any less disgraceful.

Only more useful, he knew.

“What!” Inuyasha exclaimed from his right. “Already?”

Gritting his fangs, Sesshoumaru glared over at his younger brother, who was perched atop the silvery branch of a maple tree, the crimson foliage of which had been nearly stripped away. On a leaf-strewn stone bench not far from him, Hikari resolutely sat, not quite looking at either of them, even as Inuyasha dropped to the ground just before her.

“No,” Sesshoumaru replied tersely, a cloud of youki gathering beneath his booted feet.

“Where the hell are you going, then?” the irate hanyou yelled out after him as the daiyoukai began to rise. “You get back here, Sesshoumaru!—Hey!”

Not needing his brother to admonish him any more than he already was, the Lord of the Western Lands took balefully to the sky.

Inuyasha © Rumiko Takahashi