Wind whistled through the barren hollows of the Burial Mounds, a sad haunting melody no human instrument could justly replicate. If Wei Wuxian could arrange a tune to fit the stirrings in his heart, this would be it, he thought. As he watched Lan Wangji’s departing figure shrink farther and farther away, the funeral whiteness of his robes seemed at last appropriate to the occasion. Saying farewell to him had carried the weight of a final parting.
A stroke of sheer fortune, running across Lan Wangji in the Yiling market square earlier that day. A good or bad stroke, Wei Wuxian struggled to decide. Watching after him now, Wei Wuxian frowned, wondering if he regretted this chance meeting more than anything. It wasn’t as though he and Lan Wangji had ever been friends. What had they been? The question troubled Wei Wuxian, and worse yet—
What might they have been, if fate had dealt him a cleaner hand.
Wei Wuxian sighed, turning back toward the Wen Clan encampment. Such questions were pointless. This was the path he had chosen to walk, for better or for worse.
A sudden warm touch to his shoulder, and Wei Wuxian was arrested. The scent of sandalwood flowed around him. Wei Wuxian’s tired eyes screwed briefly shut.
“Lan Zhan,” he asked, striving to keep his voice teasing and light, “did you forget something?”
“No,” Lan Wangji replied, “but it seems that you have.”
Wei Wuxian tensed, a prickle of unease running down his spine. Suppressing it as best he could, he glanced back with a mustered grin.
“Have I? And what might that be, O Wise and All-Knowing Lan-er-gongzi?”
But this half-hearted baiting didn’t faze Lan Wangji in the slightest. His pale eyes bore into Wei Wuxian’s.
“Come away with me,” Lan Wangji said, perfectly serious—but then, when was he not? “Abandon this dark path, Wei Ying. Leave this place with me now, and I promise we will find a way to help the Wen Clan survivors.”
Wei Wuxian turned from him in frustration. “This again? How many times are you going to ask me the same old question? The answer isn’t going to change. Why you even care to keep trying is beyond me.”
Shrugging off the hand at his shoulder, Wei Wuxian continued on his way. So faint that the keening breeze nearly swallowed it up, Lan Wangji’s voice drifted to him.
“Do you not remember what happened between us, when we were trapped in the mountain cave?”
Wei Wuxian halted. In his sleeves, his hands balled to fists to keep from shaking. Suddenly, he felt so drained, weary down to his bones, as if all the weight of the past were bearing down upon him.
“You were right, Lan Zhan, I have forgotten,” Wei Wuxian said as he drew himself up straight and walked away without a backward glance. “You should, too.”
The last thing he remembered before the world went dark was a black iron sword, so steeped in resentment it would’ve stolen away every last bit of air from his lungs—if he’d had any to spare.
As it was, he’d already been on the verge of drowning. An accomplished diver he might be, but no man could go on without breathing for as long as he had and hope to surface alive.
This is it, Wei Wuxian thought. I’m going to die.
The thought didn’t distress him as much as he’d always imagined it would. But then, maybe he was just too far gone to care.
I hope that stuffy Lan Zhan will deign to fish up my corpse, was his last actual thought, before the darkness dragged him under.
…
When his eyes opened blearily to a world of soft fluttering white around him, Wei Wuxian assumed he’d ascended. Then he started hacking up lungfuls of water.
His throat scalded so badly he reversed his initial assumption and knew for a fact he was in hell. Helpless tears of sheer torment streamed from his eyes, but with how wet his face already was, there was sadly no telling it.
“…Wei Ying.”
That voice—brisk as winter’s chill, yet not quite so cutting. If Wei Wuxian didn’t know any better, he’d almost dare to say it sounded concerned. Still sobbing and spluttering miserably, he squinted up at the white clad figure hovering over him—
Straddling him more like.
Wei Wuxian froze. He needed to keep coughing, but now that he realized Lan Wangji’s face was only a few inches above his, he suddenly couldn’t draw in even the shallowest breath. His face was clutched in Lan Wangji’s hands. As it started to turn blue, Lan Wangji’s light-hued eyes flared in alarm.
“Wei Ying!” he said again, tightening his hold.
When there was no response, Lan Wangji’s hands released their painful grip and pressed to Wei Wuxian’s chest instead. At the sudden forceful pressure applied to his sternum, Wei Wuxian croaked, water spilling from the corner of his mouth in an unseemly dribble.
It was less than a second later before Lan Wangji pinched Wei Wuxian’s nose and descended upon him. Sealing his lips to Wei Wuxian’s, Lan Wangji breathed into him deep and slow.
Wei Wuxian’s eyes nearly bulged from their sockets. Since it seemed more than ever like he was going to pass out and drown in his own swimming lungs, Lan Wangji broke from him briefly, just to draw in another breath, and repeat the needless resuscitation effort all over again.
Distantly, Wei Wuxian was elated at all this urgent fussing. Notwithstanding the fact that he always enjoyed such attention, clearly, this was irrefutable proof that Lan Wangji didn’t wish for his demise. Taking the full tempestuous history of their relationship into account, this was a heartening discovery.
However, more immediately, Wei Wuxian was in agony.
At the first profound, earth-shattering shock of Lan Wangji’s mouth on his, Wei Wuxian feared he might die after all. This was simply too much to bear. Far more tortuous than his near-fatal drowning had been. Yet all he could do was lie there and let it happen. Stuck in this paroxysm of inner turmoil, Wei Wuxian forced his mind and body to decouple for the sake of his poor abused sanity.
It was better not to think too hard about what was happening. So he focused purely on the physical sensations instead. Against his lips, Lan Wangji’s were pleasantly firm and smooth, his breath as clear and cool as Wei Wuxian would have expected from this icy Jade of Lan. Strictly speaking to the act itself, being kissed by Lan Wangji didn’t feel too bad. It wasn’t so different from kissing a lovely young girl, and Wei Wuxian had done plenty of that.
And perhaps here was where detaching his mind from his body had been a mistake. Because as he surrendered himself over to indulging in the sheer simple pleasure of a such a fine mouth urging against his, Wei Wuxian at last couldn’t help but to respond instinctively in kind. Lan Wangji went rigid, drawing sharply back as though he’d been bitten. As he glared down at Wei Wuxian, his eyes flashed in cold fury.
“…Unbelievable,” he spoke in bitter reproach.
Of course, it was only natural for Lan Wangji to suspect the worst. But for once, Wei Wuxian hadn’t been been trying to tease him. Equally mortified by his own actions, Wei Wuxian paled, grabbing hold of Lan Wangji’s shoulders for support.
“Lan Zhan,” he said with a pitiful rasp. “I thought for sure I was going to die.”
The frigid hostility bled from Lan Wangji’s frame. “…So did I.”
Wei Wuxian’s mouth twisted. Was Lan Wangji referring to Wei Wuxian or to himself?
“We still might die here,” Wei Wuxian said. “We killed that tortoise beast, but we’re still trapped in this shitty cave. Who knows if anyone’s coming to save us, or if they’ll make it in time?”
“…”
Despite the dire circumstances, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but grin at this response. “Objecting to my crude choice of words, even at a time like this? Lan Zhan, you really are incredible.”
It hadn’t escaped Wei Wuxian’s notice that Lan Wangji was still straddling him like a fretful mule. That pale pretty face was still quite near to his, actually. This close, Wei Wuxian could admire how fine and dark his long lashes were, how perfectly chiseled were the angles of his cheekbones and jaw. He really was surpassingly lovely for a man.
“There’s a good chance we’ll die here, Lan Zhan.”
“You have said so already.”
“Who knows how long we have left.”
“…Do these points truly warrant repeating?”
A silky tress of fallen hair tickled Wei Wuxian’s cheek. Subtly, he leaned into that trailing softness. Just as subtly, Lan Wangji tensed above him. But he didn’t draw away.
“Thank you for saving me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian murmured, sincerely. “Even if it was ultimately pointless.”
Lan Wangji didn’t seem to know what to say to that, if anything—though it seemed from the minute twitch of his lips there was something he wanted to say. But whatever it might have been Wei Wuxian would never know. With his eyes drawn to Lan Wangji’s mouth, he saw how it still gleamed a little wetly from their lip-lock earlier, and the sight was enough to make Wei Wuxian throw the last of his inhibitions to the wind.
His hands slid up from Lan Wangji’s shoulders to cup his face, and swiftly Wei Wuxian pulled Lan Wangji’s mouth down onto his. As expected, Lan Wangji tried to escape, but Wei Wuxian held fast, even going so far as to lock his legs around Lan Wangji’s waist to trap them together. It wasn’t so dissimilar a full-body hold from the one Wei Wuxian had pinned on him back during their study days at the Cloud Recesses, when Lan Wangji had caught him breaking curfew and Wei Wuxian had forced him to share in the consequences.
Those were the good ol’ days, Wei Wuxian remembered fondly.
Above him, Lan Wangji continued to resist the kiss—but not as long nor as fiercely as Wei Wuxian had thought he would. When Lan Wangji finally did stop trying to tear himself free of Wei Wuxian’s clutches, it was only to crush his mouth down onto Wei Wuxian’s with twice as much vehemence. This was a predictable move. On the off-chance that Wei Wuxian was still just trying to tease him after all this, a little angry retaliation would help Lan Wangji save face.
When Wei Wuxian didn’t up the stakes any further, Lan Wangji seemed to radiate uncertainty. Now, here was the real test. How would Lan Wangji respond to this?
Even as his mouth eventually softened against Wei Wuxian’s, the kiss was still far too hard and demanding. More of a clash of lips and teeth than anything. Funnily enough, Wei Wuxian found Lan Wangji’s obvious lack of experience endearing. The opposite would even have disappointed Wei Wuxian a little. Though he didn’t care to examine why, the thought of anyone putting their hands on Lan Wangji irked him—anyone except himself, of course.
Relaxing his clinging hold a bit, Wei Wuxian coaxed Lan Wangji into a gentler pattern. More of an easy give-and-take. Chase and be chased—their lips coming together and retreating, catching upper to lower, tugging occasionally with a fleeting graze of teeth. Lan Wangji was a quick study, but this didn’t surprise Wei Wuxian in the slightest. He doubted there was anything Lan Wangji couldn’t be the best at, if he cared to pursue it.
As enjoyable as this kiss was becoming, it wasn’t long before Wei Wuxian started to get impatient with all this closed-mouth dallying. He was really getting into this now, and as usual, he wanted more. Greedily, he skimmed his tongue along the seam of Lan Wangji’s lips, parting them slightly, tasting him briefly.
Lan Wangji broke the kiss with a start. A tinge of red stained his cheeks, and Wei Wuxian preened inwardly at the sight, because making Lan Wangji blush had more or less always been his most deeply-cherished goal. But those light hazy eyes held a glimmer of distress. Wei Wuxian frowned up at him. Had he pushed him too far? Broken some inane Lan Clan rule, perhaps? Was tongue-kissing too much of a violation? This was the most prim specimen of man on earth he was dealing with here, after all.
“You don’t like it?” Wei Wuxian hoarsely asked.
The glimmer faded as Lan Wangji gazed down at him intently, his hooded eyes darker than Wei Wuxian had ever seen them. It was the sexiest thing Wei Wuxian had ever witnessed, until Lan Wangji leaned back into him and said—
“…I like it” as their open mouths came together again.
Wei Wuxian groaned shamelessly as Lan Wangji’s tongue scraped against his. Locked together in such a heated embrace, there was no going back from this. No laughing this one off as a lark. Belatedly, Wei Wuxian realized what Lan Wangji had already understood, when that moment of crisis had sparked in his eyes.
Breaking out in a cold sweat, Wei Wuxian wondered now if he had gone too far. Breathless and feverishly hot all over, he shuddered with relief when Lan Wangji pulled his plundering mouth away. The ribbon of his headband chafed as he braced his forehead against Wei Wuxian’s. This had been frighteningly intimate enough. But before Wei Wuxian could formulate a complaint, Lan Wangji was tugging the ribbon loose and dragging it away, and the shock of him willingly doing so made Wei Wuxian’s stomach seem to drop straight through the floor of the cave.
Dangerously close to hyperventilating, he stammered out, “L-Lan Zhan…”
Skin to skin with him, Lan Wangji said, “We might die in this place.”
Helplessly, almost hysterically, Wei Wuxian nodded, digging his fingers into Lan Wangji’s robes as his head continued to spin. The hand still pressed to Wei Wuxian’s chest slid aside, smoothing down from his ribs to the bone of his hip.
“This time might be all we have left…”
Grasping Wei Wuxian by the thigh, Lan Wangji pulled them flush together—face to face, chest to chest, hip to hip. Wei Wuxian clenched his teeth against all that he felt. Against all that he was afraid to feel. But he couldn’t not feel it—the damp heat of Lan Wangji’s breath mingling with his, the thrum of their heartbeats pounding in unison, the hot hard stabs of shared desire lancing between them.
Did he like men after all, Wei Wuxian despaired—or did he just like Lan Wangji?
“…So long as my last hours are with you, I can die with no regrets.”
When Lan Wangji’s mouth met his, it was like a lightning strike cracked through them both. Gone was all reason and restraint, and they were grappling with one another, tearing off outer robes and inner robes, trousers and boots and undergarments until there was only flesh against aching flesh. Lan Wangji’s body was a sculpted marvel, and Wei Wuxian raked and groped his hands over every gorgeous inch as hungrily as he’d ever attempted to devour anything. The normally cool and composed Jade of Lan was just as voracious, as they rolled and seized and bit and scratched at one another in this frenzy of lustful abandon.
They were like two wild animals, senseless and single-minded in their need. Yet also utterly clueless at the same time. Needless to say, this situation was out of even Wei Wuxian’s depth—for all his flirting, he’d never gone much farther with a girl than a squeeze through the dress, and he’d never done anything at all with another man.
When he closed his fist around Lan Wangji’s cock it was out of red-hazed desperation. Gods above, but he felt so good in Wei Wuxian’s hand, like a rod of iron encased in silk. Lan Wangji’s strangled moan filled him with exultation, but then Lan Wangji was gripping him back just as eagerly and intensely, and the sounds that were tearing from Wei Wuxian’s lips would make his ancestors roll in their graves. Following his rather clumsy lead, they stroked and clutched and fondled one another into a state of near-madness, scarcely drawing air between the relentless, starving crash of their mouths.
Perhaps because Wei Wuxian’d had a head start, Lan Wangji erupted first, the hot thick jets of his seed coating Wei Wuxian’s lower stomach. Supporting Lan Wangji as he recovered, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but trail his fingers down to swirl in the fluid that glazed him. Lan Wangji’s essence, in the truest sense. Half-crazed with lust, Wei Wuxian brought his gleaming fingers back up and popped them into his mouth, holding Lan Wangji’s misty gaze all the while. Somehow, his pupils managed to dilate further at the sight.
Moving down Wei Wuxian’s body, Lan Wangji released his white-knuckled grip on the other man’s cock. But before Wei Wuxian could start to pout, he felt the hot wet rasp of a tongue against the dewy opening in the crown of his sex, and gasped in disbelief.
“…Do you like it?” Lan Wangji asked, sultry and low.
Wei Wuxian’s mouth was so dry, he could only manage a weak nod. But this was enough. Mesmerized, he watched as Lan Wangji’s head bent over him, the graceful bow of his lips parting so beautifully around the blushing head of his cock. The sight was almost enough to undo him, but the sensation was another. Breaking his nails against the stone floor, Wei Wuxian struggled to hold on a little longer—just long enough to see Lan Wangji take him down another inch, and then he was lost, his hips bucking wildly as he came harder than he ever had, even in his most debauched and orgiastic fantasies. This was Lan Wangji, with his mouth around his cock. This was Lan Wangji swallowing down his seed. This was Lan Wangji whom he l—
But here Wei Wuxian drew frightfully short. Riding out the waves of his orgasm, he threw an arm over his eyes and let loose a ragged cry. It reverberated loudly through the cave, but Wei Wuxian scarcely heard it. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he came whimpering back to his senses. Lan Wangji’s arms were around him, yet now it felt like too much—far too much…
Wei Wuxian pushed back against him. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Lan Wangji asked, frowning.
“I got carried away.” Wei Wuxian looked askance. “We shouldn’t have done that. Let’s just pretend it never happened, all right?”
For a while, Lan Wangji was silent. Taking this for acquiescence, Wei Wuxian scrambled up and washed himself off, then clothed himself once more in his damp, clinging robes. As Lan Wangji stood to presumably do the same, Wei Wuxian turned away, out of courtesy.
When, in his peripheral vision, he saw that Lan Wangji was decent once more, he turned back to him with a disarming smile. “Now we wait, eh, Lan Zhan?”
After an interminably long moment, Lan Wangji nodded in reply.
Mo Dao Zu Shi © Mo Xiang Tong Xiu